Are you a worrier? Do you struggle with obsessive thinking, especially when you’re anxious or stressed? If so, simple coping skills may be more helpful than trying to think your way out of the problem

Humans are thinking creatures. More than any other animal on Earth, we have the ability to think, reason, analyse, remember our past and imagine a future that hasn’t even happened yet. …


What story do you tell yourself about your life? That you’re a failure, not good enough or unlovable? If so, it’s time to write a new, more positive story

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What is the story of your life? What do you tell yourself about your successes and failures, key life events, those you love and those who have hurt you in some way? In my therapy practice, I find that people often tell themselves a story about their life that is distorted, highly critical, focusing heavily on perceived mistakes and failings. …


This has been one of the toughest years in living memory, so many of us are struggling with our mental health. Here are three things you can do, today, to help yourself feel stronger and happier

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As the pandemic nears a deeply unwelcome anniversary, many people are struggling. In the UK, it’s nearly a year since the first lockdown — a year like no other in most of our lifetimes. And that year has, of course, taken its toll on us, both physically and mentally.

When I speak to my clients about how to cope right now, I always start…


Assertiveness is a superpower. And using ‘assertive communication’ will help you deal with even the most critical or angry people

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Think of the most difficult person in your life. Now imagine you are in conflict with them and need to find a way of communicating that solves the problem. Sounds daunting, right? But there is a simple, easy-to-learn formula that will help you manage even the most challenging people in your life — it’s called ‘assertive communication’ and I will guide you through the simple steps involved so you can make assertiveness your new superpower.

Like all new skills, assertiveness is not easy to learn — and even harder to put into practice. But think of it like learning a…


If you struggle with your mental health, it’s tough to be kind to yourself — but learning to be kinder will be profoundly healing

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I’m guessing, if you’re reading this, that you are a kind person. I bet you’re really good to the people in your life — treating friends, family and even strangers with care and consideration. And, although that may take effort sometimes, you show up for those people, day after day.

But I also bet that the one person you struggle to treat with kindness and compassion is yourself. …


The coronavirus outbreak is anxiety-provoking for us all — but if you are prone to health anxiety, it will be especially tough. Here’s how to help yourself stay calm

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Do you struggle with health anxiety? If so, you’re not alone. Millions of people around the world face a daily battle with this anxiety disorder. I often tell my clients that, if you’re prone to anxiety, your health is one of the easiest things to obsess about, because of course humans are vulnerable to health problems.

We all struggle with our health, dealing with everything from mild problems like the common…


Parenting can be tough — but if you follow these five common-sense guidelines your kids will flourish both mentally and physically

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Having children is the most profound, beautiful, life-changing and yet terrifying thing you will ever do. Nothing can prepare you for the awesome responsibility of holding that warm little bundle in your arms for the first time. And parenting — especially in those exhausting early years, when you think you will never sleep again — can be tough.

One of the hardest things for all parents is the worry that they will get it wrong and screw their kids…


Are you an introvert? If so, life can be tough— but you should own your shyness, sensitivity and empathy with pride

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Are you a shy person? Do you struggle with groups of people, open-plan offices and crowded places? Is your idea of hell a noisy, busy party where you have to shout to make yourself heard? And heaven being curled up in an armchair with a favourite book?

If so, you are probably temperamentally an introvert. And your temperament is not something you choose, you’re just born with it. …


We all have a vulnerable child inside — the part of us that feels young, small and sad. Being compassionate to that child is the key to good mental health

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Everybody feels sad sometimes. We all feel lonely, hurt and scared. No matter how old you are or how strong, underneath that strong exterior is a part of you that is young, small and highly emotional. If you have experienced a painful childhood, that part of you will also be hurt and in need of care.

In schema therapy, we call this part the Vulnerable Child. It’s one of several…


Countless romcoms and magazine articles are wrong. Love — or more often lust — at first sight means a relationship is unlikely to last

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We have all felt it — that intense charge of attraction when we first lay eyes on someone. Every hormone-drenched cell in your body is telling you to go after that gorgeous guy or girl. And, if you are simply looking for a torrid few weeks of passion, there’s no harm in following your lustful instincts.

But if you think that million-watt zap of attraction means you have found the love of your life, I’m afraid…

Dan Roberts

Dan is an Advanced Accredited Schema Therapist with a private practice in London. He is also a teacher, supervisor & writer. Find out more at danroberts.com

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